Thaw
by Zoser
Summary: Events surrounding Lost City II SamJack UST
1. Chapter 1

Sam sat there tinkering with the engines. At least that's what she pretended to do. She just couldn't concentrate and beside that, when she had the presence of mind to concentrate, she could not fathom what he had done. It was completely beyond her. But she came back here to get her mind off of him. She thought by immersing herself in a scientific problem all the others would fade into the background. She had ten days, damn it, ten days; she couldn't bear all ten just rehashing in her mind all the mistakes made, opportunities lost, lives wasted. He was barely alive when they put him in the coffin of ice and they left him. Yeah no man gets left behind. Sure. Right. She tried. God knows she tried but she failed. In fact she was afraid that if she guessed wrong, and all she could do about most of the ancient technology was to guess, if she guessed wrong, she would indeed kill him and that she couldn't bear. She would rather die in the cold of space, looking for help, looking for an answer than to be the one to kill him. 

First thing she had had to do was to convince Weir that the world needed Jack O'Neill back. She even used her integrity as a bargaining chip. So she talked Weir into letting her go and Daniel into staying behind. If she failed Daniel would be Jack's only recourse. And so she flew off on a course she charted, not truly knowing if she would come out of hyperspace in the middle of a star or a black hole or right on target. She only knew that to live with herself she had to try.

All this ruminating was getting her nowhere so Sam thought she would take a break, a little food, a little conversation, a little distraction. But Teal'c was his non-communicative self. Maybe that wasn't altogether true; maybe he hit the nail right on the proverbial head. Going to their food stores to get him the sandwich he didn't ask for and didn't want, Sam thought about what he simply asked.

"How is Pete Shanahan?"

Actually Pete was pissed as hell. Her job had kept this budding relationship on ice. She could never say where she was going; she didn't answer phone messages sometimes for over a week at a time (not her fault) and then when Pete saw her after the horror of the Alpha Site, she was bruised and battered. Then within a short period of time she was upset and withdrawn over Janet's death and the near loss of the Colonel. He seemed almost afraid to ask, and if and when he did, she couldn't tell him. He had even asked if there was another man. How could she tell him what O'Neill meant to her when she refused to come to terms with that herself. Maybe they could do the military 'Don't ask, don't tell". Oh yes this was such a great basis for a relationship.

Their parting, before the final search for the Lost City and battle with the forces of Anubis, was awkward. She couldn't tell Pete she was trailing off across the galaxy with her team and most especially with a man, whom she trusted with her life, whose brain was being over written, searching for a Lost City in order to conquer Earths direst enemy, whose forces were amassing at that very moment. It sounded nuts to her and she knew it was true. This present trip was also one whose objective she could not share. And so here she was, thousands of light years from Pete, risking her life to save another man, that man who had loomed large in the past eight years of her life; the one man she would risk all for, Jack O'Neill.

Again her mind went back to the conversation she just had with Teal'c

"It's just -- as you well know -- it's not easy saying goodbye to someone you care about when you think there's a chance you may never see them again"

Now she wasn't even sure if she were talking about O'Neill or Pete, maybe both. She wished she could do a Scarlet O'Hara and worry about it tomorrow. If she could only immerge herself in the Ancient modified technology in the small ship, every inch of which reminded her of Colonel Jack O'Neill.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack awoke. Maybe that was not the right word; he became conscious. He did not seem connected to his physical body and this unnerved him. His mind was running free through the Asgard computer that ran Thor's ship, amazing intricacies to the banal. He knew what had happened and what needed to be done by accessing the ship's log and assorted data banks. He knew, too, that to face the challenge ahead he would again have to put his personal feelings aside. The life and death of one individual was nothing in this scale of galactic proportions. But wasn't it individuals that started these forces into play and wasn't it individuals that would put a stop to the destructive power. Not now, not now, later he would ruminate, later he would grieve if there were a later. Now he must act. Playing with the lights he hoped to get their attention and let them know he was in essence still Jack O'Neill or so he hoped. 

When awakening without the burden of the Ancient knowledge Jack made light of the situation. There were flares of feelings that he didn't quite understand: seething anger, heart wrenching lose, friendship, respect, protectiveness and so many more swirling in his gut. He needed control; mostly he needed to channel the anger for the right time, for the kill. With the weapon fabricated, O'Neill, Teal'c and Daniel beamed down to the planets surface. They went to save the galaxy; they went to avenge their friend.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam was terrified by Fifth's anger. She was not the one who decided to abandon him and here he was free of the time dilation device and angry and powerful enough to wreck havoc on the galaxy. Before when he shared his mind with her there was no pain, now it was unbearable. So very painful she was willing to cast blame on others for his being left behind.

Then everything changed, it was like she had awakened from a bad dream and here she was in the country with Pete. It was incomprehensible. Well, yes, she and Pete had mused about a life that was completely different but she didn't need to experience it to reject it soundly. No, it was Fifth playing with her mind, taunting her with another betrayal, her selection of Pete. And finally Fifth was taunting her with SG-1's betrayal of her. They would see her dead just to destroy Fifth and his minions. But this Sam saw through. She knew they cared for her and knew her, sharing her values. No she would rather death than the living hell of life with Fifth; she would rather death than the dominance of the replicators over the galaxy.

Then everything change yet again. She lay sprawled on the forest floor with voices yelling her name.

"Major Carter."

"Sam, Sam."

"Carter."

Her only thought was 'He's alive. They saved him, and he has come to save me.' And as the warmth of his hand on her thigh drove all other thoughts from her mind save him, they were engulfed in a beam of brilliant light.


	3. Chapter 3

Thor beamed the warriors back aboard his ship. Teal'c and Daniel were tired but Sam after her ordeal with the replicators, and Jack, after the long stasis, were exhausted. Special state rooms for the Tau'ri had been part of the design of the 'Daniel Jackson' and O'Neill and Carter wandered off in search of them

.  
As Jack walked Sam to the deck with guest quarters it was either the exhaustion or the renewed flood of memories that cause his guard to slip. He remembered her in tears saying how glad she was that he had survived, her arms tight around his neck her fingers grasping him. And he remembered too how good it felt to hold her in his arms. At the door to her room, he stepped closer to her. He took her in his arms lowering his face to her neck. He muttered into her neck so low she wasn't sure she heard him or just imagined it. She felt his lips on her neck and hoped it was kisses instead of words; maybe both depending on the words. And he, nuzzling her neck, inhaling her scent, he wanted nothing more than to walk her, still in his arms, into that room and shut the door on the rest of the universe and revel in her life and his. But then he remembered. So much was still a muddle after being thawed but this of all things, this he had to remember. He remembered that she had given herself to another and he lifted his head and dropped his arms.

Sam felt a chill with the loss of his warm embrace.

Awkwardly he wished her a good night and went to his quarters. As he walked away he felt his heart, so recently thawed, refreeze. Maybe it would stop the pain.


End file.
